Him and I

 I have a boyfriend. He's my best friend in the world, and if ever i loose him, a part of me will be lost too. We blend perfectly together. He is my special love, my confidant and my booster.He's never been my "boyfriend" but he's seen me through a few heartbreaks and problems.He's always been there, and he never judges or accuse me no matter the situation i find myself in and its not because he's my beloved for he corrects me when i do wrong. All his thoughts are for me only, all his happiness because of me but only until he finds his missing rib. Oh! how i dread when that day finally comes. His deep thoughts, clean and pure heart, his ever smiling face, his annoying and yet loving comments will all be directed to another.

People don't think we are really just friends and others think its strange we are not dating, but its perfect. He's never had his heart broken and that's because he's never dated. I'm the only real female friend he has. I want him to find and experience love if its only for a second.

 
I realised just how much i love him when a lady he was trying to woo hurt him. I was so angry with her that she's hurt my beloved, and felt sorry for her later because she doesn't  know what she has lost. I love him for who he is, for the mistakes hes ever made and even when hes being a  a pain in my ass.I loved the person he was when we first met, and the person grown to become now. I'm not in love with him but love him with everything in me.He's every gals fantasy. He's always willing to take away my loneliness without having to be in a relationship with me

A risk i refused to take

        I have been counting the seconds,minutes,hours,days,weeks and months.Why?.
        This is because my life was and has always been super boring!
         3 secs
         5 minutes
         24 hours
         5 days
         4 weeks
         13 months and boom! my opportunity to step out of my super boring life presented itself.
         It came from you and i couldn't believe it. I thought to myself, 'is he for real'?, 'is he making fun of me'?
         You were offering me an opportunity to be away from all that's familiar to me and travel to your town.

      Though i don't like travelling long distance journeys, i wanted to come. I was so very excited and wanted
      to accept instantly. My coming involved the risk of trusting you with myself, because though i want to  wait for marriage before having sex, i know for a fact that with you that won't happen. Not because you will  force me but i know i may easily give in when you make the attempt. Thus, i needed an assurance from my own self that i won't do anything stupid because where you are concerned, i don't think and behave normally.


     For me to know this,i needed to take the risk of coming to see you. I even daydreamed several times being there and going places with you. This also included making love to you several times. May be, i had
    nothing to worry about because you always said since im a virgin i will be boring in bed.

   I failed to take the opportunity which might have changed things between us, but now i will never know
  what would have happened if i had, and its because i failed to take a risk and this is one thing i will always
  regret!


         

Lonely love

The dialing of a wrong number which  happens to be yours brought you into my life.Gradually you became important to me and i fell in love with you without realizing it. We went apart for a while due to reasons best known to you.You have always kept a tight leash on your emotions. You mean a lot to me though i know i don't mean that much to you.I never thought i could love someone like i love you. I love the way i can be having a bad day and hearing your voice completely changes my mood.I love the way when you call me 'sweet' or talk dirty i get weak.May be its the way we can chat for hours about everything without really saying anything and i still feel i just had the best conversation ever.Everyday i fall in love with you all over again.I love you because you make me feel beautiful, worthy and loved again. You are my miracle, my fresh breathe, my song. You make me cry and laugh all in one breath.You are a smile that will last on my lips forever. Everything about you interests me.I hate not knowing everything about you. This curiosity led me to your facebook page. I have read every single post and comments you have ever made on your page and what others have also posted about you dating to when you first joined.I know i may seem really pathetic but i don't care.I hate dreaming of how life will be with you in it.I hate knowing that you are probably not thinking of me or probably enjoying yourself in one of those clubs you attend.Despite all these i love you.I start missing you as soon as we say goodbye after a call, and i have wondered many times if im not getting mentally disturbed.This may make you laugh but its the truth and i keep on thinking what exactly it is that makes you get to me.You have almost become like a deep rooted disease in my heart and soul.I know you are bound by a past hurt you aren't ready to do away with, and i also know its difficult to give your heart away again after its been badly hurt.I wish you will forget the past and simply be mine.May be im not the person you are waiting for to wipe your heart clean of that pain.If one day im able to get over you, know that i really did love you at a stage of my life.I love you CAB.