A risk i refused to take

        I have been counting the seconds,minutes,hours,days,weeks and months.Why?.
        This is because my life was and has always been super boring!
         3 secs
         5 minutes
         24 hours
         5 days
         4 weeks
         13 months and boom! my opportunity to step out of my super boring life presented itself.
         It came from you and i couldn't believe it. I thought to myself, 'is he for real'?, 'is he making fun of me'?
         You were offering me an opportunity to be away from all that's familiar to me and travel to your town.

      Though i don't like travelling long distance journeys, i wanted to come. I was so very excited and wanted
      to accept instantly. My coming involved the risk of trusting you with myself, because though i want to  wait for marriage before having sex, i know for a fact that with you that won't happen. Not because you will  force me but i know i may easily give in when you make the attempt. Thus, i needed an assurance from my own self that i won't do anything stupid because where you are concerned, i don't think and behave normally.


     For me to know this,i needed to take the risk of coming to see you. I even daydreamed several times being there and going places with you. This also included making love to you several times. May be, i had
    nothing to worry about because you always said since im a virgin i will be boring in bed.

   I failed to take the opportunity which might have changed things between us, but now i will never know
  what would have happened if i had, and its because i failed to take a risk and this is one thing i will always
  regret!